By 24 years off from dating, I am unexpectedly back in the game as a needless and expensive divorce is underway benefiting nobody but lawyers as Abraham Lincoln once so smartly noted about litigation. One of the big perks of my newly-found freedom is that I have had a chance to date some of the most fantastic, accomplished and beautiful Generation X women here in Los Angeles. As a publisher and CEO for going on 30 years, who has founded, grown and sometimes even sold groups of successful consumer electronics magazines, I’ve had a pretty respectable career to this point at just-turned 52 years old. What is incredible is just how accomplished and truly fantastic some the women are that I have been lucky enough to date.
One lovely woman that I dated early in this new era was a PhD at one of the top graduate schools at my beloved University of Southern California, who also spoke four languages and was on the admissions board. Another basically ran aviation for a gigantic streaming service in Hollywood (if you can’t guess – you aren’t trying hard enough, because chances are you are a subscriber). Others run charities, make millions a year selling real estate, or even solve the world’s problems by spending the money of two of the richest men in the world for the betterment of humanity. Color me impressed, ladies. As a fancy stereo salesman or, as my best friend calls me, “ret***ed George Clooney” (is that a compliment, insult, or both? And the “R-word” was his choice not mine), I often feel left behind in the accomplishment department by these women and their Gen-X-driven careers. In the past few months, I have endeavored to develop a new skill to keep up in this intellectual arms race. On my daily walks by all the boats in Marina del Rey, I am working on learning to speak fluent Sea Lion. Yes, I had to go cross-species for this project because, respectfully, learning Mandarin or Cantonese or Farsi was far above my pay grade and total intellect. But I am trying here folks … as the pressure to keep up with these accomplished women is real.
Despite the Clichés, It Turns Out That Women Actually LOVE Audiophile Systems
It is not common for me to bring women of dating interest over to my place but, if this is an advanced date, I might be making her dinner (I love to cook, and I am even taking a cooking class in Naples, Italy with the famed Mama Agada after the Vienna HIFI Show this June), which always includes music as part of the entertainment. The cliché in the hoppy is that women somehow hate audio or audio systems. This, I can tell you with 100 percent confidence, is total and complete bullshit. What women are turned off by is the way that audio is presented to them, be it looks, sound, musical selections, etc. When done well and presented with elegance and style, women, think the tech, design and art of what we love is totally fantastic. Talk about killing off an old audiophile cliché?
The (Aesthetic) Look of Audiophile Love
If your audio system is a total mess visually, you are going to lose your new audiophile patent quickly. If cables are strewn here and there, that’s not visually appealing. Lighting needs to be dim enough to create a comfortable and chill environment. The seating positions in the room should be for more than one dude, solo, listening to Dark Side of the Moon at 1:00 AM by himself. A good furniture store (Room and Board comes to mind, or others like Design Within Reach) that sell very nice, mid-to-upper-level furniture will help you get your interior design all worked out.
The rule of thumb should be: your audiophile listening room should look like any other room in your home and designed in a way so that another couple or a female guest would like to sit in and relax.
Living in Your Art is Why We Invest Like We Do in Audiophile Systems
My older son, Vincenzo, and I were on the driving range and hitting golf balls with two movie stars (our range can get fancy at times, it turns out) Mark Wahlberg and Don Cheadle – both important actors in the Paul Thomas Anderson film Boogie Nights. Cheadle’s character was a porn star when not selling stereos and he sells gear in the most 1970s machismo way – a total ego-based pitch. It is hard to listen to as a modern audiophile (despite the film being genius), because it is the completely wrong way to sell audio.
The amount of power in your amp (or the horsepower of your muscle car) is not why you are more of a man. A more modern reason why somebody (perhaps someone not male) would want an audio system in their life is the ability to have their art more in their life. A Warhol on the wall is great, but some Coltrane on your Bowers & Wilkins genuinely adds to the positive vibes in your living space. If you can show this value proposition in a brief demo to someone who might have never heard a good audio system, you are headed to recruiting a new fan.
Exposure (Not Experience) is the Real Challenge for Potential Female Audiophiles
Our new writer John Pax, the director of the Shelemay Audio Lab at Harvard University, admitted recently that, despite his PhD and having bought tens of thousands of dollars of audiophile gear for the lab (Magnepan speakers, McIntosh electronics), he had never been physically inside of a stereo store. Gen X and Boomer jaws are still on the floor from that recent revelation, but it is true. Exposure to new and exciting audiophile gear happens on online publications, social media and other less traditional venues today.
Your listening room is one of these less traditional venues.
Paul Wilson threw a party (read the story here) for some of his wife’s colleagues from work, and part of the event included hearing a few songs on Paul’s nicely curated, $500,000 music playback system. People were simply emotionally moved. They just had no clue that such sound, such passion, such emotion was possible at home. And they loved it. You, as an audiophile, are the best ambassador for high-end audio. You just need to present the audiophile world in way that subtracts the off-putting levels of cray-cray and focuses on what’s important.
How to Present Audio for Non-Audiophile Women (and Men, Too)
For our challenges here, let’s forget the standard audiophile demonstration that you might receive at an audiophile show. Forget the obscure music for which your listeners have no frame of reference or musical/emotional ties. Forget listening to audio in a converted hotel room. Forget the idea that audio has to be crazy-expensive. None of that stuff matters.
What matters is playing great-sounding music that connects with your listeners.
The truth is that women love listening to music. Women are also often drawn to vinyl, as it is trendy and decisively analog in an overly digital world. Women tend to love art and ways to explore having more artistic exposure in their lives. Knowing this helps us craft a short presentation that can share our passion with others who likely have no clue what we do with all this gear.
Here are some guidelines to making a great audiophile presentation …
- Limit the musical selections to three or four tracks.
- Raise and lower the volume just a little into the first verse or at about 1:30. AKA: Don’t run too long.
- Manage the energy of the playlist like a radio program director. Start with something open and spacious in the recording. Something simple. Build to bigger and more complex recordings.
- If you are comfortable being a real pro audiophile ambassador – pre-sell what they are to listening for in each track. For example, “In this Stevie Ray Vaughan track, you will hear a slight buzz in his Fender Twin amplifier at 0:42 into the track. You might not hear that level of resolution in a lesser system.” At 0:42, when they nod to you and let you know that they heard what you are talking about, you have earned a “trial close,” to use advance sales parlance.
- Play only creatively important music. Leave your nerdy audiophile recordings that sound 10 out of 10 good elsewhere. Find that level in more mainstream music. I have been playing “Vigilante Shit” by Taylor Swift (badass song with stunningly good bass). I’ve been playing Beyoncé’s cover of The Beatles’ “Blackbird” from Cowboy Carter, which is layered, deep and rich, yet still a Lennon/McCartney composition which appeals to ALL generations. I’ve been playing “Then Came You” by The Spinners (and Dionne Warwick), which is the vocal precursor of some of the vocal affects that we hear from, say, Katy Perry, but in an awesome 1970s R&B No. 1 hit. I might close with something bigger in its scope (but still modern) like, say, Michael Bublé’s “The Best is Yet to Come,” which has that open-wide introduction with crisp finger snaps and that rich Neumann mic sound that explodes into a lush, wonderfully well-recorded composition. Roll the volume down 10 to 15 seconds into the full big band and claim your victory.
Always Leave Then Wanting More (the chef Thomas Keller Close)
Overselling is a classic mistake seen at the stereo store, and this can happen in these opportunities to introduce music to new groovy people who might like what we do. If you’ve even been blessed enough to eat at one of Thomas Keller’s restaurants like The French Laundry in Yountville, California (or Per Se in Manhattan), you will know that he serves lots of tasty goodness but never too much of it. Be that way with audio.
For example: when you are done with your three- or four-song demo, bring up something like The John Coltrane Station on Amazon Music or a chill-ass Trip-hop (think: Thievery Corporation, Zero-Z, Air, etc.), stuff that is musically not too offensive but is unquestionably stylish. Leave the music on at a lower volume and perhaps get some feedback on what your friends liked or didn’t like about the demo.
Always Be Inclusive as a Modern Audiophile
There are entire establishment audiophile print magazines that have an editorial mission statement of, “If it isn’t expensive – it isn’t good.” That too is total and complete bullshit. What I often do is bring out a pair or two of my more colorful and/or luxurious headphones from my office collection. A pair of Bowers & Wilkins Px8 S2s (read my review) in white can impress. The T+A Solitaire headphones (read my review) from Germany with their subtle leather ear cups have never failed to get a positive reaction.
Telling a newly-converted (and possibly interested) audiophile that your system cost $200,000 is all that they need to hear to completely shut down. A Millennial might think: that’s more than my entire student loan debt. Alternatively, having a pair of $500 super-sexy colorful headphones on hand post-demo shows that, for what one might spend for a pair of travel headphones at the Apple Store or Best Buy, you can be in the great sound audio club. Audiophiles have historically been snobs. We are ending that right here and right now.
Final Thoughts on Playing Audiophile Systems for Women
It might be tough for some to admit, but women hear better than men as we age. Women also love music every bit as much as men do. The issue is that few women have ever had the chance to hear what an awesome music playback system can do and have a real-world explanation as to why they might want it in their lives. Moreover, a path to how to get started in the hobby is not as scary as many make it out to be. We can pave this road for new audiophiles with our own music playback systems. The challenge is all ours and the practice of playing our system for music and art-loving people is one that any and every audiophile should promote to their friends. Your audiophile system allows you to live more in your art. Your audiophile system is a drug-free solution to lower blood pressure, lessen stress and relieve anxiety, which are issues truly plaguing younger generations. Just never forget to make sure that the cost of being an audiophile is not as expensive as it seems. Never fail to be inclusive and you will never fail to impress music-loving people as to why an audiophile system is a luxury-goods item that they might want to aspire to own.
What music would you play for on your four-song demo track (and in what order)? Who would you play such an “intro to the audiophile world” demonstration for? I am separated, but for those who are attached/married, would you play a few songs for another couple? Let us know how you might go about doing more exposure for the audiophile hobby in your world.
